Hope for Purity - Support for those Hurt
Finding out your spouse is viewing pornography can lead to intense feelings of shock, hurt, anger, confusion and betrayal. While you may ask why this choice was made to violate the commitment of your marriage vows, your spouse struggles to explain his or her inability to stop pornography usage. As painful as it is to sort through your feelings, you learn more about the addictive nature of pornography, and consequently are left in an incredibly challenging situation. A willingness to see beyond your own hurts will be necessary, and healing for yourself, your spouse and your marriage will not be easy. Remembering that marriage is a sacrament, knowing that God is an ever present part of your marriage providing strength, hope, and love, you can find the courage to heal. God asks that you live only one day at a time through this experience with trust in Him. In His time, both you and your spouse will be stronger in not only your faith, but also your commitment to a healthy, holy marriage.
Your First Steps
- Develop a life of prayer
God wants to walk with you through even this difficult situation. Find solace in prayer and commit to the daily practice of prayer and silent meditation. Read Scripture and attend Mass. Know that Jesus loves you and knows you are stronger than this. He can take your anger and the depths of your despair.
- Join a support group or see a therapist
You may be feeling any number of strong emotions or you might just be numb, but you don’t have to be alone. Others have been where you are and have found healing and support. Seek out a support group or a therapist. You may want to start your search at https://www.catholictherapists.com/.
- Practice self-care
In times of trouble, it is important to take care of yourself. Find healthy ways to release stress and boost your mood, such as exercise and self affirmation. Journal to help process thoughts and emotions. Surround yourself with good friends and good conversation. Add time for yourself to your calendar and keep it like any other appointment.
Online Resources for those hurt by pornography
- https://www.bloomforcatholicwomen.com/ - Therapeutic and Catholic-based online courses for women healing from the trauma of discovering their husband's sexual or pornography addiction.
- Restored: True Stories of Love and Trust after Porn - A book of ten testimonies of women and couples whose lives were harmed by pornography, but through God's grace found healing, hope, and trust.
Books for those hurt by pornography
- Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility by Edward Sri
- Restored: True Stories of Love and Trust after Porn by Matt & Cameron Fradd